I seem to have left my pride at pride
two words: eviction party
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
