Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
