i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
