I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
babies were throwing up all over the place
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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