Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
