hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My bed smells like the plague
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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