I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
