And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
either way he was missing a nipple.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize