Operation Purity has been aborted
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize