why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
