i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize