Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
