the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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