I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
