sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
