Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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