the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She bit a glass in half.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
