She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
