NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
