did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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