just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
