i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
