id be glad to
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
