I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
