I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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