We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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