is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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