Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
