If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
