I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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