Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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