We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
