nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
