M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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