I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
