you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
