she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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