Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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