no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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