Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
