We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
