Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He shit in the fireplace
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
