Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
