Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Houston, we have a blender
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
