i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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