If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You were trust falling into bushes
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
