how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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