1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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