She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
