i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
