i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the condom got lost in my hair
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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