what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
