we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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