"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I didn't notice because vodka
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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