We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
