idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
