I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize