seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
