if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
